I rode past your old house today. The yellow house you lived in when I was a kid. I knew you wouldn’t be there but I just wanted to be back for just one more day with you.  I visited your grave the other day and remembered that it had not been that long ago, we walked together discussing your plans to buried there. At that time, I thought  how much time we would have together before that EVER happened. Boy, was I wrong.

I dreamt I walked passed a woman that looked just like you. I turned around and it was not you. I talk to you in my head willing for a sign from you. I know you are there, watching from above, but I’d give anything for a gust of wind, a butterfly, or something that indicates your presence.

At night, during my routine, I sometimes stop and inhale my jar of Pond’s before applying it to my face while picturing yours.  When I visit Paw Paw and go to the bathroom, I take a squirt of Jergen’s lotion and inhale. I look around at all of your things still in the same place and sigh.

I will be forever grateful for the stories you told me; they keep you alive. I know you are glad to be home with your sisters, mother, and the rest of your family. I can’t help but think about that Tom Petty song Southern Accents.

For just a minute there I was dreaming
For just a minute it was all so real
For just a minute she was standing there, with me

My niece’s picture of her with my grandmother and son. She drew this about a month after my grandmother passed.