I once read that to become a better writer, you should write about what scares you the most. If you read of any of my posts or know me personally, I tend to lean toward the glass half full way of thinking. To write about what scares me is a challenge. Yes, I have things that keep me up at night but putting it down on my paper- I just don’t know but I guess for the sake of becoming a better writer and person- here goes…

I am afraid of when the time comes when I lose my parents. My family means everything to me and it’s a thought I just can’t bare. My mom is my best friend, and my dad is my editor. Both are my life coaches and biggest supporters.

I am afraid of becoming sick and leaving Will and my boys behind. The kind of love I have for them is both wonderful and hurts way down deep. I can’t actually find the words to explain.

I am afraid I am not being the best mom I can be to my children. I am so thankful for them but sometimes, I just feel overwhelmed and exhausted. The cute baby refuses to sleep for any length of time. He doesn’t deserve a frustrated and cranky pants of a mother. The oldest doesn’t need a mom fussing at him about trivial matters. Please when you read this understand that they mean more to me than anything in this world, and I know what a blessing it is to have them.

I am afraid of my children getting sick and even worse- leaving this earth before me. A pain I cannot begin to imagine but know of so many that have experienced- my heart aches for them.

I am afraid that I am not reaching my fullest potential in terms of being a Christian, Mom, wife, co-worker, etc. There is so much more I could be doing.

There are days when I am afraid of every decision I make from what I said to someone, what I sent in an email, or what I told my club members in Rotary. Doubt and fear creep in and a small voice starts to pick apart everything little thing. These days aren’t every day but they happen.

I am afraid of what you will think when you read this. I am afraid that in this world we can not fully share things for fear of retaliation in some form or judgement. However, it is my hope, though, that when you read this, it makes you not feel as alone with your fears that somehow we can be in this crazy world together.

Now, with a lump in my throat and with my heart racing, I will share.