“What does that mean?” “Will the kidney ever function?” I asked the doctor as I choked back tears and looked at my growing bump. “The kidney will eventually be absorbed by the body, or he will need surgery to have it removed” was his reply. He went on to explain that there was a blockage near this kidney which was much like a clamped water hose which would also need to be addressed. As I began to try to process this and not cry (I don’t like crying in front of strangers), the doctor left the room and the medical student, getting more of lesson that she probably bargained for, spoke up- “How did you two meet?” referring to my husband and me. I smiled through the tears and began the story of us before our children and hydronephrosis.

After that day at UAB, my pregnancy was labeled “high risk”. As soon as there was an opening to leave the doctor’s office that day, I almost ran to the elevator with Will trailing behind me. The elevator buttons didn’t seem to work, or it might have just been my frantic hands trying to push them. When we reached the truck, I jumped in and began to wail. I was having a panic attack. I had done my best to protect my growing son in my belly. I had been so careful to watch my carbs because I had gestational diabetes. I had walked every morning. I had done everything possible within my control. There is nothing that I could have done to prevent this. Hydronephrosis affects 1 in 100 children and is more common in boys.

After a day of mourning for my unborn son’s left kidney, I was starting to focus on the positives. Thankfully, you only need one kidney to live. However, doctor’s appointments became a mix of emotions. I was to have an ultrasound every time to check on my amniotic fluid, as well as, monitor the baby’s movements. A monitor was strapped to my stomach, and each time, I felt the baby, I had to push a little button. Sometimes, Anderson would be asleep so I would drink a little bit of Dr. Pepper or Mt. Dew to wake him up. Each time, I would leave an appointment, I would began to breathe again. Now, looking back, I can’t imagine what it would be like to experience these appointments alone as so many are now due to the Pandemic. I am forever grateful for my mother and mother in law for being at those appointments. Although, my mind would drift to thoughts of my child and anxiously await for his movement, the sound of their voice provided hope and encouragement.

Anderson made his arrival on the 21st of September. There’s an Earth, Wind, Fire song titled “September” with that date. We call it his birthday song.

Do you remember the 21st night of September?
Love was changing the minds of pretenders
While chasing the clouds away

The first thing he did upon his arrival was pee. What a glorious sight! Other than a scare one night at the hospital (a false positive on a test leading to one night at the NICU), our experience was wonderful. Although, I do believe that scare aged Will and me both by 10 years. The day after we were released we had our first appointment with Children’s to further our journey. Special friends Rachel and David let us stay in their basement the night before to avoid having to travel to Demopolis and then back to Birmingham. We are forever grateful to them.

Our first appointment was for an ultrasound. There was still a blockage. The next step meant we would need to test the functions of the kidneys. We would come back in a few months to allow for more development. Months passed as we begin to get to know Anderson. We had lots of wet diapers which gave us hope.

The next appointment rolled around- to test the functions of the kidneys. Will and I watched as they tried to find the vein in our tiny newborn’s arm to hook up an IV to prepare for the test. They tried twice unsuccesfully, and all I could do was look away. Finally, another person was called in and on her first try she was successful. Whew! Now, for the catheter. A dye would be inserted through the catheter to monitor to determine if there was any reflux. Can you imagine trying to put a catheter in something that small? To explain a little bit better on tests performed, here is some information from childrenshospital.org:

• Renal ultrasound (RUS): By focusing on the kidneys, this ultrasound gives a good picture of the hydronephrosis. This is the first postnatal test your doctor will perform and will help determine whether further studies are needed.
• Voiding cystourethrogram (VCUG): This special kind of x-ray is used to check for reflux, a common cause of hydronephrosis. It also may show an obstruction in the urethra. Using a small tube called a catheter, doctors will fill your child’s bladder with a liquid dye containing iodine. As the bladder fills and your child urinates, the flow of the liquid will be visible on x-ray images.
• Renal scan (MAG 3): This test allows doctors to see your child’s kidneys and learn more about how they are functioning. This kidney scanning test helps measure the difference in function between the two kidneys and also estimates the degree of blockage in the urinary system. After a tiny amount of radioactive material (radioisotope) is injected into your child’s bloodstream, a special camera (called a gamma camera) is used to take pictures of the kidneys as the radioactive material moves through them, showing how well they are filtering and draining.

After these tests, we learned that both kidneys were functioning. Praise the Lord! Answered prayers! We thought the left kidney would never function. There was also no reflux. There was still a blockage that would need to be monitored, and there was a chance that it would be corrected by just Anderson’s development.

Fast forward to this week. We finally were able to go back and check on the blockage due to rescheduling of our appointment (one time because he had a fever and the other due to COVID-19 restrictions). Will dropped me off at the front door with Anderson in the stroller. I had my mask on. Only one of us was allowed to go in. I took a deep breath and stepped inside. Both Anderson and I had our temperatures checked.

This appointment meant another ultrasound. As it got to time to meet the doctor, I paced around the room with Anderson in my arms. I sang to him through my mask. When the doctor entered, we both set apart. He began by saying “I’ll start with the good news.”. It was then I knew our journey was not over.

Both kidneys are still functioning, and the right had improved. The blockage remained which meant surgery. Surgery? The word bounced around in my head back and forth like a tennis ball going back and forth on a court. I focused on every word the doctor said so I could tell Will.

Thankfully, we are able to have the surgery on the 18th of this month. This surgery will be to remove the blockage. A stint will be put in a for a few months, and we will have to come back to remove the stint. We knew there would be a chance but had gotten comfortable with how things were going. Anderson seemed to be fine.

We know this is something that we will have to continue to monitor after surgery. We are grateful for all the love and support our families and friends continue to provide. We are grateful for how Anderson is growing and learning every day. We are also scared and afraid with negative thoughts that creep in, particularly in the middle of the night. We ask for your prayers.

Only one of us will be allowed to be in the waiting room during what looks to be a 3 hour surgery. Pray for both of us- I’ll be in the waiting room and Will -in our room we are staying in for the night-both of us wishing to be together for not only each other but our son.

We know this is in God’s hands. As Anderson’s mother, I want to be able to fix it, and I have to trust that the doctor will. Something, I am personally struggling with which makes me think of Mary. How must she had felt as Jesus’ mother? I am also concerned for Will. I know he feels that as the man of the house he has to be so strong.

Why do I tell you all of this? For me, it’s easier to type it than to say it aloud. For saying it aloud, I have to put on a brave face for when you ask questions or show concerns (not that I don’t appreciate it). Words allow me to accept what’s going on and provides me as a way to look back when this is over.

Right now, I am focusing on the day to day and daydreaming of the man I know Anderson will become. This is just one of the stepping stones we have to cross.

And as a famous book once said, “It was the best of times, it was the worst of times.” I choose to focus on the best.

Update: surgery and stint removal went well. We will continue to monitor. Left kidney is draining as it should be, and we will go back in 6 months for another ultrasound. Writing and sharing this is therapeutic for me and serves a reminder of what all we have to be thankful for.