I think I am having some type of mid-life crisis. In the last couple of weeks, I have said yes to so many things, I would have normally talked myself out of for whatever reason. For example, I went to Perfect Touch, a clothing store in my hometown on the pursuit of Tevas. Before I knew it, I was leaving with a pair of jeans, a top, and the Tevas. I normally would have walked in the store for 30 minutes or more holding the items I wanted, all the while talking myself out of these items and then carefully placing them back. Oh, and about the party last night. I am naturally introverted and a pretend extrovert. However, last night, I found myself at party in my new jeans and top, talking to people, smiling and laughing. I stayed as long as I wanted and went home early-satisfying my multiple personalities- the one who needs adult interaction and the one that needs to be a home with her family. Both girls were happy last night.

Then’s there kickball. A dear friend asked everyone on Facebook if they wanted to start an adult only kickball team and messaged me. I agreed to play. Now, there is a gazillion reasons I could have said no- childcare to start with but I thought to myself, I want to play kickball and I don’t care if I look like an idiot doing it.

Then, this morning I went to the Farmer’s Market. I tried to support every farmer there. I would have, too, if I had thought to bring a bigger stroller to hold my toddler and the produce. Came home with a ton of peaches, zuccini, and new potatoes. I am no cook but now I’m making peach tarts. What has gotten in to me? And there was that Estate sale just up the road from my house. I am sucker for an Estate sale- get to see the house and find something for yours- win win. Came home lugging a huge vase for my dining room. Did I need it? Certaintly not but it’s beautiful and only cost me $10.

Money doesn’t buy happiness but gosh I am sure feeling good! So much of my life I have made for myself has been calculated by me. In college, it was my 5 year plan. When I met Will, it was I’m gonna get married and have kids plans. I have been doing certain things because I thought I had to and by a certain deadline but who says? I have to admit I feel like a rebel but it’s really over silly things and decisions. Like I suck at peeling peaches and most tarts have sliced peaches and look really pretty. Not my peach tarts, we are going to just chop those bitches up. Still tastes the same right?

It’s not spending money on me that I think has made a change in my life. I think it’s been the choice to give myself room to breathe, to make mistakes, and saying no to things such as, setting myself unrealistic deadlines and expectations. It’s allowing myself to live and to choose to be happy doing things I like. I will always be there for my family but I am also going to be there for me and do things I enjoy. I’m a much better person, friend, wife, and mother when I can take care of myself too.

I am consciously choosing to live a full life and to love me every day. So, I am not sure who needs to hear this today, but go play kickball, by the shoes, make desserts, and my God, be happy.

The Vase from the Estate Sale and finds from Marengo County Historical Society Farmer’s Market (Happens every Saturday at Lyon Hall through August 14)

Peach Tarts made with love with my dear niece Sidda Leigh. We made mini tart shells out of pie shells (cut with the top of a mason jar). They were so yummy!