It’s taken me some time now to figure out how to put into the words what the end of radiation and treatments means to me. I’ve been trying to process now for almost two weeks completing this leg of my journey on June 22, my 37th birthday, a birthday I will never forget. Now, as I look at the calendar, July, I am reminded of how far I’ve come since being diagnosed in September of 2021. I don’t know how to quite process all of this or even if I’m supposed to.

Last night, Will and I enjoyed an evening out in Pensacola. The female musician we were enjoying at the District Bar began to sing Stand by Me, one of my favorites, and tears slowly filled my eyes. Listening to her voice and the pianist that accompanied her was like hearing music for the first time. The funny thing about Cancer is that if you are blessed to be able to reach this point in your journey, you began to finally see and hear for the first time, not in the literal sense but in a way that you begin to appreciate things so much more than before (so much so that it feels like the first time).

I’m finally beginning to feel a lighter load than what I’ve carried. I feel I can breathe a little easier and my physical body is relaxing. I’ve put on some weight, not realizing the weight I was losing last year so quickly was a symptom, along with extreme fatigue (but as mothers aren’t we always tired?) I’ve slept harder this week than I feel like I have in a lifetime. I’m beginning the new steps into a new journey as I slowly creep out of the door of this past one, wishing to be able to run like hell but these things take time. Yes, I’ll continue to see my oncologist every 3 months. I’ll continue to take my hormone suppressant and receive a shot every 6 months. I won’t be able to close this door completely but at least it’s now a crack and not fully open.

Now, that this ride has slowed down, how can I move forward? Living, by living and serving. I’ve asked God to show me how I can serve others; he has provided. As I step into a new position at our local hospital, I am reminded of one of my favorite Bible verses from Luke 22: 27:

For who is greater, the one who is at the table or the one who serves? Is it not the one who is at the table? But I am among you as one who serves.

I’ve always been drawn to jobs that allow me to serve others, and I am grateful for this new opportunity to do just that. I pray that God will use my Breast Cancer journey as a light for others and that I always remember what it was like when I was the patient so that I can better serve our patients- maybe not knowing exactly what it’s like to be in their shoes but provide some support, a similar set of footprints.

As I move forward, I want to express my sincerest thanks to my God, my family, friends (two new ones that I shared my radiation journey with-you know who you are), my FUMC family, and especially Will and the boys for being a constant and standing by me. I would not be here today without this support. I am excited about what’s ahead-glancing back only for a second- as a reminder of where God can lead you.

Watch out Whit Regional Hospital-here I come-ready to make my mark and serve others!