I have always been a person who looks within on how to make changes and grow as a person. Yes, I love a good self help book, blog, devotional, etc. Mid year when I learned that my cancer had come back and I was diagnosed with Stage 4 Breast Cancer, I began to have more doubts than the first diagnosis and my thoughts took a darker turn. I had trouble praying as I was so disappointed. Thank God for my pastor as he told me when I couldn’t pray, he’d pray for me.

I also reached a point where I had to admit that I couldn’t do it all. I had to accept that I couldn’t do it all. That was hard as my personality wants to do it all.

This was the tough part of the year. As I reach the end of the year, I have realized some things as it relates to people and how God uses them. I read somewhere that strong women show up when you need it most and that’s true in my case. This year women in my life have shown up and carried me from simply sending a text, going to lunch to chat, or just letting me be my most vulnerable self. I will forever be grateful for you all. These women work with me at the hospital, they are my dear friend around the corner, fellow warriors, friends from a past job, and of course my two favorite women in this entire world- my mom and sister.

As I type, a lump forms in my throat and my eyes mist as I am so grateful and cannot begin to thank these women enough. I can only hope that I can show up for them as they have for me.

So, what I’ve truly learned this year boils down to two things 1. People will show up when you need them and 2. You’ve got to take care of yourself- love yourself.

So, now to enjoy the remainder of the year, wait on Santa (spoiler Mrs. Claus does it all), and sing all these old Christmas songs I’m listening to- City sidewalks, busy sidewalks; dressed in holiday style in my sweat pants while drinking diet coke (don’t tell me it’s bad for me).