Dear Alvin Island’s,

Your new store in Gulf Shores is nicely done; the candy shop a nice touch. I always enjoyed shopping during summer breaks, finding the perfect dress and bathing suit for the season. I decided to return this Spring Break to look again for a bathing suit. Alvin- let’s just say- we need a section of the in between- not quite a grandmother and no longer a teenager.

As Evelyn Couch said in Fried Green Tomatoes, “I’m too young to be old and too old to be young.” The one bathing suit I tried, well, let’s just say, I looked a like a can of biscuits about to pop open.

I searched for the girl from the Spring Break of yesterday. She’s still there but has been replaced with a worn version, a mom bod. I couldn’t help but laugh, thinking I should step out from the dressing room, announce myself to the ladies working the area, and see what reaction I would receive.

Maybe I’ll have better luck at Target or Old Navy. It’s not your fault Alvin’s Island, you have a specific target market and it ain’t this 40 year old woman. If you reconsider, adding in some suits for the millennial’s, I’ll gladly return. I ask that you consider playing music from Spring Breaks from hits such as “Thong Song” from Sisco to ensure we have a pleasurable shopping experience.

I appreciate the consideration. Again, your store is lovely but your bathing suits, well, maybe it’s just me.

Signed,

An old customer in search of a swimsuit