I loaded the laundry for what’s sure to be the millionth time. I watched as the washer slowly turned on and began it’s routine- eerily similiar to the routine of our daily lives. Wake, brush teeth, eat, school, homework, ball game, bed time-rinse and repeat. As part introvert, I do enjoy our routine and find comfort in its normalness and predictability, the humming of a well oiled machine. Lately, however, I’ve found myself restless. For what? I honestly can’t tell you. I stare at the laundry now in the dryer, ready to be folded and yet, part of me rebels this next step.

The next morning we wake up and like Bill Murray in Groundhog’s Day, our day begins and in the back of my mind I sing “I’ve got you babe.” Hours later I find myself in the car with the boys after the evening’s ball game. We are laughing and Anderson continues to ask for “Bus” (Wheels on the Bus). We get home, and I load the clothes, scrubbing the ball pants before loading them- rinse and repeat. I sigh, as this chore is waring on me.

The next morning comes. I look up and somehow the boys look much older than the day before. Anderson is adding to his vocabulary, and WM is about to finish 2nd grade. Somewhere in the middle of our cycle, they become a little older and a lot more independent. My parents are aging. I’m getting closer to 40 and its knocking on Will’s door this summer. Rinse and repeat.

What seems like an endless cycle on repeat, life is going by faster and faster. The routine which sometimes makes me restless will change in the blink of the eye. No more chatter around the kitchen table or food being thrown off the table. No scrubbing of baseball pants. No car rides laughing with my two boys. They will soon find themselves washing clothes, going to ballgames, and doing homework. Rinse and repeat. I’ll find myself missing their small clothes and baseball pants. I’ll miss the routine. I’ll miss the rinse and repeat.