I fear what my life will look like when my kids are grown and moved out. So much of my life is spent chasing them, schedules, school, sports. If I’m not doing that I’m working and trying to find a date night for Will and me. What will become of Ashley Coplin when the busiest ceases to exist?

I don’t have a hobby other than this- writing. Will plays golf so I know how he will spend his days. I’m an introvert/extrovert meaning the mood to throw a party comes around once a blue moon. I know what you are thinking. Geesh lady get a life.

And after cancer treatments, the feeling of letting go and living in the moment is slowly fading away and I’m drawn (like earth’s rotation around the sun) to being the same, safe person I’ve always been but why?

I was born into this world already in my 30s because of my old soul. Literally, started my to do lists when I was a few months old.

The extent of being adventurous is summed up by parasailing once, my one tattoo and will add a 2nd because of a dear friend but that is the extent to my mid life crisis/post Cancer.

I fear that I am boring and lack conversational skills beyond potty training and work related topics. What would my epitaph read? Here lies Ashley, always an old soul with the tendency to be very A type. She once let go but then reverted back to the old ways.

As much as I admire my sister (care free, artsy- can literally do anything) and in some ways jealous of her, I could never be that way.

I don’t know the answer except to keep trying. Keep trying to push myself into new experiences and out of my comfort zone. Quiet the anxiety and live in the moment.

Like all of us, I’ve been given one life and I’ve got to make the most of it.

So here’s our challenge fellow moms- we can take care of kids and us too. Self care has to be a priority. Don’t lose yourself in the day to day. Remember that girl… love her too.