In my quest to try something new and save money, I opted to pay for fake, glue on nails from Wal-Mart. It seemed simple enough. However, I have a confession. This is my first experience with glue on, fake nails. Yes, I am 41 and never had fake nails. So, now as I struggle to type with these things, I can’t help but laugh. These $7 press on’s have defeated me today. Don’t know how to open a door with these. I don’t know how to get out the laundry. And, of course, in my attempt to paint my toe nails, well, let’s just say at a distance, she’s a 10, up front a 5 maybe.

I have never been completely girly but still like to have a reason to dress up. I am not good at any type of hair style, ask my hair dresser, Brooke, my awesome cousin who just laughs when I come in. Makeup, I missed that class. I try but it resembles something from the late 1990’s I’m sure. I’ve always been this way and these nails ain’t changing that.

And yesterday, well after our fundraiser and I was alone in the building it was held, I had to excuse myself to the ladies room. I had sweated from loading in my car. The inside of my $3 denim Lee skort special, had a certain material that didn’t bode well for sweat and as I (sorry for the candor), to um, pull up said skort, the struggle became real. It was like trying to pull up a pair of tights. It wasn’t happening. I thought for sure I had burned some calories after the workout I experienced. Thank God no one walked in.

I have completely and utterly failed as a woman this weekend. I am more Lucille Ball than Scarlet but frankly I don’t give a damn. God created this klutz and I share this with you all in hopes you don’t take yourself too seriously as a female.

We must give each other grace and accept our insecurities. I don’t care how much you spend on your clothes, nails or what you drive because at some point, you will discover a long, chin hair. You will laugh so much you pee a little. Your kid will embarrass the hell out of you. Congratulations! That means you are alive and well. It means you are blessed. You were able to have a child or children.

You don’t need a pair of fake nails to prove your worth. You, my friend, show up. You are your own Cruise Director (thanks Lisa). You are worthy of love. Love yourself. And, if you happen to find a friend that texts, pizza tonight after a long but fun and successful day, keep her. She’s worth her weight in gold and then some. A friend that accepts you in stretchy pants is not one to take for granted and Emily, I don’t.

So, these rambling thoughts are for my friends. Thanks for accepting me despite my awkwardness and lack of style. I love you.

I keep looking at these things. To keep or not to keep. That is the question.