My son requested jello at the grocery store from the brand “Snack Pack” as it had Sour Patch candy as a flavor. It’s blue. This morning he asked to try it. I obliged. Then, my millennial brain, went back in time and Snack Pack, I have a proposition.

The first swap every year I was in a sorority was at a fraternity that served jello shots with the cups lined in the sorority’s letters that they were swapping with. A swap is basically a party. I don’t know what Gen X’ers call their parties, probably something we can’t pronounce or understand. Jello shots were a norm on the college scene in the early 2000’s. I also remember getting off work waiting tables and going to my big’s apartment. There in a pan were homemade jello shots in um, a certain shape. I digress.

So, Snack Pack, I propose to you a line of jello shots for the older generation. Now, for me personally, the alcohol content needs to be minimal as I do not want to face a 5 to 7 business day hang over. Also, if you can make it sugar free, that’d be great. The branding can be similar to the kids but more late 90’s, early 2000’s imaging. Think Kurt Cobain or Third Eye Blind. I really think Snack Pack this would sell as us millennial are nostalgic as hell. I think that it’s because it was a different time and a different world with less pressures and less social media comparisons. Also, when we hold parties with this new line of jello shots, we would start promptly at 6 PM and end by 9 PM (at latest). Music required would be early 2000’s hip hop. Only requirement that needs to disappear and never reappear- low rise jeans.

So if there are any brands that want to jump on, here’s your chance. I just need a small cut to buy a beach house and have insurance on it covered until the end of time. Thanks in advance.

I am not sure why my brain lives in 2000’s, my body looks old, and I can remember lyrics from then. I can’t remember what I ate yesterday and the name of that person you asked about. This is 40- too young to be old and too old to be young.

Signed,

A millennial who survived jello shots and crazy buckets (if you know you know)